Holidays and your mind: why time off does not always bring rest
Holidays have a curious reputation: we bet a whole year on them, and are then surprised that they do not deliver what we hoped. People fall ill on the first free day, argue in the third week, or notice that the rested feeling has already evaporated within a week of returning. That is not a personal failure, and it does not mean holidays are pointless either. It means recovery works differently from how we think. In this article I explain how.
Ill on the first day of the holiday
It is a familiar and frustrating phenomenon: exactly when the pressure falls away, you fall ill. Headache, flu, migraine, or simply a leaden tiredness that knocks you out for the first few days. Researchers speak of 'leisure sickness', falling ill at the weekend or on holiday.
There is debate about the precise explanation, but the most common idea is that under prolonged tension your body remains in a kind of heightened state of readiness. As long as that tension continues, you keep yourself going. As soon as it falls away, the bill arrives: you only then notice how tired you are, and complaints you have suppressed for months are given room.
What this mainly tells you is something about the period before. Anyone living so hard against a deadline that their body only dares to collapse on holiday does not have too little holiday, but has soldiered on too much. The holiday is the mirror, not the cause.
Your mind does not move as quickly as you do
Physically you are somewhere else within a day; mentally that takes longer. For most people it takes several days before the worrying subsides and attention really detaches from work or worries at home. That is one of the reasons a long weekend is pleasant but rarely truly restorative.
Recovery requires a few things you do not buy with a plane ticket: psychologically detaching from your obligations, relaxation, the feeling of deciding for yourself how you spend your time, and doing something that makes you better. That detachment in particular has become difficult. A phone that carries your work email to the beach keeps the alarm system on, even if you do not open it.
That is at once the most concrete piece of advice in this whole article: really switch off work notifications, and agree how you can be reached, instead of remaining vaguely available. Half reachable is mentally the same as fully switched on.
The dip halfway and the dip afterwards
Many people know a downturn in the middle of a longer holiday. The first relief has passed, the novelty has worn off, and without the structure of ordinary life thoughts and feelings sometimes surface for which there is normally no room. That is unpleasant, but usually not worrying: rest makes visible what busyness hides.
Better known still is the return dip. Research into recovery consistently shows that the recharged feeling after a holiday ebbs away quickly, often within one to a few weeks. People sometimes conclude from this that they need more or longer holidays. That is understandable, but the conclusion is usually wrong.
What it really shows is that a holiday does not store recovery like a battery. If you return to exactly the same circumstances that exhausted you, you will be exhausted again. So the question is not how to get more time off, but what needs to change in your ordinary weeks.
Recovery lies in your ordinary weeks
This is the core, and at the same time the least exciting part: small, regular moments of recovery do more in the long run than one big peak a year. An evening in the week that is genuinely yours counts for more than an extra week in the sun.
Think of a daily break that does not consist of scrolling, a walk without earphones full of news, one evening without obligations, or a hobby in which you do not have to be useful for a while. Recovery is not the same as doing nothing; for many people, doing something they become absorbed in works better than lying down with a phone.
Also look honestly at what exhausts you. If work is structurally too much, if caring for a family member never stops, or if money worries run alongside constantly, then 'relaxing better' is not the answer. Then there is something in the circumstances that needs attention, and sometimes help.
When a holiday is also a family visit
For many of our clients, holiday means returning to the country of origin. That can be deeply nourishing. You hear your language around you, you see people you have missed for years, children learn where they come from. For some it is the only place where they feel complete.
And at the same time it is rarely only rest. There are expectations: about presents, about financial support, about whose house you stay at and how long you stay. There is often grief, for those who are no longer there or for what has changed. And there is the tiring experience of being a bit of an outsider everywhere, here and there. People sometimes return from it heavier than they left.
That is not ungrateful, that is human. What helps is being realistic in advance: this is a visit, not a holiday, and perhaps I also genuinely need rest alongside it. Plan a spare day before you go back to work. Think in advance about which questions will come and what you want to answer. And allow yourself to hold two things as true at once: that you looked forward to it, and that it was hard.
If you are not going away
This group is talked about least, while it is large. Not everyone can go on holiday. Money, work, illness, caring for someone, a residence procedure or simply nowhere to go; there are many reasons. And precisely in summer, when everyone posts photos and colleagues come back with stories, that can hit hard.
The hardest part is often not missing the trip, but the feeling of not belonging. For parents, guilt towards their children is added to that. That is real pain and it deserves more than the remark that holidays are overrated anyway.
What does help: deliberately make the summer different from the rest of the year, even without travelling. A day with a different rhythm, an outing close by, something that is not obligatory. And limit looking in on other people's summers if you notice it makes you low; that is not avoidance, that is sensible.
When it is more than holiday stress
A dip after the holiday is normal and usually lifts within a few weeks. If low mood persists, if you cannot find your footing, or if you notice that you go to work with reluctance and dread and that this continues, then something more is going on than a return dip.
Also watch for the signals that point to overload: persistent exhaustion that does not lift after rest, cynicism or distance from your work, the feeling of not being able to cope with anything. That can point to overstrain or burnout, and there the rule is: the earlier you intervene, the shorter recovery usually takes.
Do you recognise this? Start with your GP or POH-GGZ, or get in touch with us. And if you have thoughts of suicide, do not wait: call your GP, the out-of-hours GP service, or 113 Suicide Prevention on 0800-0113, available day and night.
Sources
- Thuisarts.nl — overspannen of burn-out
- Trimbos-instituut — kennis over geestelijke gezondheid
- 113 Zelfmoordpreventie
This article is informative and does not replace personal advice from a care provider. In doubt, or do you have questions about your own situation? Feel free to contact us.
Questions or ready to apply?
We're happy to think along with you, in your language and at your pace.
